Delusions of Granduer
I used to want to major in Psychology, until I found out that really no-one offered the class "Jedi Mind Tricks". It's always been my wish to be able to wave my hand, and make people (or aliens) think differently then they had before. And also to wear a hooded cloak and wield a lightsaber... but thats different.
So, my new practice has been staring at different things, sometimes living things, sometimes inanimate objects, and sometimes people, and seeing if I can command their attention with my mental prowess alone.
The only thing I can do at this point in time with a hefty amount of staring is make dogs whimper and run away.
I started punishing my dad's girlfriends dog by making it look into my eyes until it seem wildly indignant, and then letting it go, and seeing it hide under the table in the corner.
1 point for me.
However, I was determined to have some affect on people, so I continued my search for power in the way that best seemed fit to me. Practice.
Thus begins my newest tale of Paddock lore.
So, all day today, I made it a point to stare people in the eyes and not blink, and answer their questions (either correctly or incorectly) without faltering or hesitating.
Now, there are a lot of different ways to stare at a person, and not all are good.
Let's say their is a man across the resteraunt, and he's been staring at you with a hungry look on his face for an hour. Now, either he is really underfed and his waitress got off work 15 minutes ago and didn't tell him, or you have just recieved the Creepy Stalker Stare.
Now imagine that you're laying on the ground, in the dirt, crying over your waste of a life, and a man, dressed in all white, and nearly eminating with light, picks you up and looks at you. You've either just experienced a Stare of Pity, or a Stare of Positive Dicsernment. Both are good. Sort of.
Or this one. You're sitting in class, and you glance casually to the left, and lo and behold, the fat kid in the corner is staring at you and drooling. This often gets typified as the Creepy Staker Stare, however it is not as malicious. You have only just been victimized by the Glazed-Over Stare. Which is rarely harmful, and rarely even directed at you. You're just a wanna be diva, so you think everyone is staring at you.
Honestly. Get over yourself.
Anyways, the stare I was using was none of those mentioned above. I utilized the Soul Stealing Stare, which a negative, more intense variatoin of the Stare of Positve Dicsernment.
So, a couple people come and go throughout the day. The majority of the people had to cope with the stare by just looking away, or looking at other things while talking to them. It seemed to make most people uncomfortable, and throw them off their train of thought.
However, the reason I am writing the post, and the highlight of my day, came into the store at around 4 in the afternoon.
She came up the the counter, and I gave her the usual "Hello"..."How are you"...."What can I help you with" questions, except in rapidfire format.
So she comes up the counter with a question about her pool, and I lean in and stare as hard at her as I can.
In the middle of her question, she stops, and says
"Please don't do that"
"Do what Ma'am?"
"Stare at me like that"
"Excuse me?"
Then he best part
"I feel like your eyes are emptying me..."
"mmmmm"
"Please Stop!"
"O.K."
I start to notice that she is turning like a white/grey color in her face.
Then she tells me that she is late for an appointmentm, and rushes out of the store
Sweet.
By Clicking This And Continuing To Read, You Acknowledge That I Am Better Than You.
posted by Nate at
7:41 PM
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